You can hide down in the alley
With your hat pulled over your eye
You can wear a wig or moustache
Or any old disguise
Well, you can change your name and your address
Even change your style of clothes
But the Shadow knows
The Shadow knows…

Happy Halloween, Hokeyfolks! It’s October 31st, and it’s a Friday, which means this is probably gonna be the most buttkickin’ Friday night of the year. Take advantage, mon freres. This kind of magic happens maybe once or twice a decade.

But it ain’t nighttime yet. Which means that we still have a job to do here at HokeyCorps Industries Ltd, so let’s continue doing what we doing best: devouring Ho-Hos like feral little goblins.

Of course, tragedy has struck. We’re out of Ho-Hos. So let’s get right back into Spooky Evil Joyfulness. And speaking of evil, remember that old radio catchphrase, “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?” The one from the old The Shadow radio serial?

Well The Coasters know… and they turned it into a swaggering Halloween bop. The Shadow Knows is basically a creepy pulp hero theme song disguised as a doo wop goof, complete with a bass vocal that feels like a trench coat with fangs lurking right behind you.

The Coasters play it like they’re having the absolute best time stalking your villainous butt from a dark alley. Snickering, plotting, tapping your shoulder just to watch you jump out of your skin. It’s playful horror, the kind that laughs at you for checking over your shoulder even though you totally should.

What makes this tune gold is that it sneaks into your guilty bloodstream smiling. You think you’re safe because you’re grooving. You are wrong. There is something very tall standing right behind you as you read this… and it knows everything awful you ever did.

Because The Shadow knows. Always.

And stick around! I’ve got two more tricks for you before sundown…

I say, “Baby, stop your jiving
And your messing round”
Cause I know what you’re putting, baby
Long before you put it down
You better mind your p’s and q’s
And your m’s and n’s and o’s
Because the Shadow knows
The Shadow knows…