Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Tarot Woman” — Rainbow (1976)

I don’t want to goSomething tells me noNo, no, noBut traces in the sandThe lines inside my handSay go, go, go Beware of a placeA smile on a bright shiny faceI’ll never return, how do you know?Tarot womanI don’t know… No Ronnie James Dio? No Halloween. I mean it. As such, I am saving Halloween…

Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Lady Evil” — Black Sabbath (1980)

There’s a place just south of Witches’ Valley Where they say the wind won’t blow And they only speak in whispers of her name There’s a lady they say who feeds the darkness It eats right from her hand With a crying shout she’ll search you out And freeze you where you stand… Holy freakin’…

Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Killing The Dragon” — Dio (2002)

Silence, we hunt for the queen Sign of the cross And pray in-between Look by the light of the day She’s hiding till dark Waiting to play hey-hey Something’s taken a child And it all must end Time to be killing the dragon again… It’ll be a cold, cold, COLD day in Hell before I…

Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “The Devil Cried” — Black Sabbath (2007)

One fine day in Hell The master told a story Someone lied so well He sent him back to Glory… You know what, I could do an entire Halloween playlist featuring nothing but Ronnie James Dio songs, and it would obliterate the cosmos with its iron-forged metal majesty. Even sinners must dream. Alas Babylon… well…

Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Bible Black” — Heaven & Hell (2009)

He reached for a book all bound in leather Something that he knows he’s never read And the first page says beware you’ve found the answer The next one says I wish that you were dead! Forbidden lore, Dark Arts, evil spells, maniacal obsession, Satanic interludes, trapped in Hell… yup this must be a jolly…

Buttkickin’ Holiday Songs: “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” — Ronnie James Dio, Toni Iommi, Rudy Sarzo, Simon Wright (2008)

Ahh, Christmas and heavy metal music. Despite what little minds might think, the two go together like your veritable chocolate and peanut butter. In the hands of Ronnie James Dio and Tony Iommi — two of metal’s founding fathers, architects of the genre if you will — the myths, legends, and spiritual truths of the…

Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Stargazer” — Rainbow (1976)

We build a tower of stone With our flesh and bone Just to see him fly… I, like many of my ilk, have absolutely zero problem flourishing under the belief that Ronnie James Dio didn’t pass away from stomach cancer in 2010, but rather perished heroically while saving our planet from being devoured by a…

Race Review: 2014 Disney Princess Half Marathon (2/23/2014), or: “There’s a lady they say who feeds the darkness…”

On Sunday, the 23rd of February in the Year 2014 of the Common Era, I “ran” the 2014 Disney Princess Half Marathon in a black-and-purple sparkly tutu and a bright pinkish feathered boa for charity and raised a buttload of money as a result. THE END. No but seriously guys, I struggled with that opening…