For if the bomb that drops on you
Gets your friends and neighbors too,
There’ll be nobody left behind to grieve.

And we will all go together when we go.
What a comforting fact that is to know.
Universal bereavement,
An inspiring achievement,
Yes, we all will go together when we go...

Speaking of 2025 being a total sh!tshow, nestled among the ceaseless onslaught of horrors we faced this year — endless war in Ukraine and Gaza, further encroachment towards fascist totalitarianism in the USA, suppression of human and civil rights worldwide, the Dolphins stinking the joint out worse than ever — we also lost the great Tom Lehrer at the way-too-soon age of 97.

Peachy.

Lehrer’s incredible body of work is no stranger to us here cultivating Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs year after year. We’ve showcased Poisoning Pigeons in the Park and The Masochism Tango in the past. And quite frankly, the sum totality of only two Lehrer songs reflects a vast cosmic deficiency, the likes of which easily akin to MAGAstans and a full set of teeth.

So it is with great respect and admiration towards Tom Lehrer and his entire oeuvre that we highlight We Will All Go Together When We Go, the latest addition to our Halloween playlist.

Appropriate for this year? Oh, beyond measure. After all, the song celebrates the solace we can all look forward to as we are incinerated via nuclear annihilation.

Think about it. No more pain or misery. Complete solidarity with all our friends and loved ones. Nobody left behind to mourn or suffer. All woven up into a jaunty tune featuring Lehrer’s cheeky pragmatism and inimitable wordplay. Honestly: who else could rhyme “tedium” with “ICBM”? Nobody. At least not with this level of gusto.

So I raise a glass to Tom Lehrer and his masterpiece We All Go Together When We Go. If we all can’t have time, peace, and fulfillment at this life, then at least we can hope for a quick, clean, collective annihilation across the board. And then haunt and torment the F outta the men in their bunkers who caused it.

Oh we will all burn together when we burn.
There’ll be no need to stand and wait your turn.
When it’s time for the fallout
And saint peter calls us all out,
We’ll just drop our agendas and adjourn.