Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “The Black Widow” — Alice Cooper (1975)

blgwelcomenightmareI try not to go to crazy with the platitudes here, but I mean we’re talking Halloween and I haven’t even gotten to Alice Cooper yet. What the eff… not coincidentally, Boots and I just saw AC last night at the Seminole Hard Rock Live, and it was a seriously amazing show. My first time seeing the dude, and it exceeded expectations.

OK enough of my yapping. His 1975 solo LP “Welcome To My Nightmare” was Cooper’s signature album, a twisted journey through the nocturnal fears of a child named Steven. Almost any track here could be worthy of inclusion, but I always loved track #3, The Black Widow. I just had that perfect blend of creepiness: Alice’s prowling vocal delivery, a haunting singalong chorus, a driving rock beat and a whole bunch of lyrics that make absolutely zero sense of you think about them too hard. So don’t. Just go along with it.

Besides, if that weren’t enough, we got the Master of Mysterious Macabre Meanderings Vincent Price doing the spoken word intro. What MORE could you want?? By the way, if you’ve never seen Price’s movie Witchfinder General, I think it’s streaming on Netflix. Some disturbingly nihilistic material right there.

Our thoughts are hot and crazed
Our brains are webbed in haze
Of mindless senseless daze of
The Black Widow

These words he speaks are true
We’re all humanary stew
If we don’t pledge allegiance to
The Black Widow

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