Buttkickin' Halloween Songs: "Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter" -- Bruce Dickinson (1989)

Honey, it’s getting close to midnight
And all the myths are still in town
True love and lipstick on your linen
Bite the pillow, make no sound
If there’s some living to be done
Before your life becomes your tomb
You’d better know that I’m the one
Unchain your back door
Invite me around…

For fuck’s sake, Bruce…

Avoiding the prosaic introduction, let’s jump right into things: Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter is probably the goofiest metal song I’ve included in our list of Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs. And that is saying a lot.

Legendary Iron Maiden vocalist Bruce Dickinson recorded this tune as a solo artist for the A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child soundtrack in 1989. The resulting song was as ridiculous as the movie, so talk about your two great tastes that taste great together? This is pure synergy baby.

To put it bluntly: the movie was a pile of crud, and The Golden Raspberry Award for “Worst Original Songs” of 1989 landed squarely on Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter. Bruce laughed it off because at least someone had a reaction to this dreck.

Meanwhile Iron Maiden loved the song so much they included it on their equally crummy 1990 album No Prayer For The Dying.

Still, the song remained in my mind for decades afterward; whilst researching this year’s crop of tunes, I listened once again to this horror-movie embarrassment of riches once again.

You know what? Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter is just as buffoonish as I remember, and yet still delivers on the visceral Halloween metal, bringing both creepy menace and juvenile middle-school entendres to the forefront.

“Bite your pillow, unchain your back door” REALLY, Bruce…

Bruce literally came up with a stupid/catchy title and wove a song around it. And why not? For a Freddy Kreuger sequel flick, Bring Your Daughter To The Slaughter is exactly the tune you need.

And for those who are left at the end of the Halloween Party who are ready to get really freaky before daybreak, it’s probably apropos.

And I’ll see you one final time this year a little bit later…

Honey, it’s getting close to daybreak
The sun is creeping in the sky
No patent remedies for heartache
Just empty words and humble pie
So get down on your knees, honey
Assume an attitude
You just pray that I’ll be waiting
‘Cause you know, you know I’m coming soon