Buttkickin’ Halloween Songs: “Joan Crawford” — Blue Öyster Cult (1981)

mommie-dearestThis is just one of those  songs, you know?

The “probably a hatchet job but who the hell knows” book and movie Mommie Dearest basically presented legendary screen presence Joan Crawford as one of the creepiest, most terrifying women who ever walked the planet. I mean can anyone even think about wire hangers anymore without the vision of a terrified Christina cowering in the corner? Anyone over the age 35, anyhow? Yikes.

Joan Crawford was (allegedly) spooky enough that hard rock band Blue Öyster Cult devoting an entire song to her on their landmark 1981 album Fire Of Unknown Origin. But Joan Crawford — the song — really doesn’t have that much to do with Joan Crawford, the actress. Instead the band paints a vivid, kind of darkly humorous, yet absolutely drenched with madness vision of The End Of The World.

Their version of the Apocalypse is haunting in its imagery, what with all the cackling junkies, deranged schoolgirls, terrified policemen, monster trucks, basically society just shutting itself down amid all the horror and psychotic breaks and what not. Standard apocalyptic fare, but with a pop culture exclamation point as, in the middle of all this mishegas, a dead silver screen actress returns to haunt and abuse her terrified daughter all over again. Read into that what you will. It still makes for a great song.

Junkies down in Brooklyn are going crazy
They’re laughing just like hungry dogs in the street
Policemen are hiding behind the skirts of little girls
Their eyes have turned the color of frozen meat

No, no, no, no
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave
Joan Crawford has risen from the grave…

If you're reading this blog, YOU'RE AWESOME! Let me hear your thoughts.